Writing -3nd Person(short story that I made)

  I'm going to write about 3rd person's view..

A bad day at GLPS..

 She woke up at 8: 3 am today at the GLPS and shocked!! She think that " I'm late for class!!!!!" Then, she hurried prepareing . She brushed her teeth, changed her cloth.  She leave the dormitary and ran to the Da San Gwan. Everyone in her class was staring her and saying "you have to get Yellow card!!". It is very hard for her to aviod this eyes that watching her. So she get a yellow card. But When she finish the class and going up to dormitary to eat lunch, she get an E.O.P paper. She was very angry. However, after class she wants to eat dinner and the way to going up to the dormitary, she fight with her friend and get a red card.. How Poor~~